The first time I met Colin (and I’m pretty sure the last time I saw him), it was at a party of a mutual friend of ours, Tristan, also vegan at the time. What stood out to me immediately was the sweatshirt Colin was wearing - a dark hoodie with the letters V-E-G-A-N splayed out across his chest - and simply from that, I felt an affinity with him, or at least like I already knew a lot about him.

I suppose I did. I knew that he didn’t eat animals, and I assumed that from wearing vegan apparel that this abstinence was fueled by staunch ideals. Later I learned that he was an investment banker, a total surprise at the time.

Hearing a year or so later that he was no longer vegan was just as surprising, but perhaps made more sense than him being vegan in the first place.

- Introduction by Cyrena

Let Them Eat Meat: What got you into veganism?

Colin: I became a vegetarian to lose weight. I’ve always been a chubby dude and I just figured that it could help to stop eating meat. Being unable to just go out and eat a cheese steak at the deli or something actually does help. You have to find hummus or whatever. I’ve also always had bad food allergies, I think I’m lactose intolerant or just allergic to dairy. And for fun I just wanted to see if I could do it, if I had the discipline to completely eradicate a common thing from my life.

I then did the tiniest bit of research and found out that most cheese has rennet in it. Rennet is like veal stomach or something, they use a small amount to produce the cheese. So, in effect, all the cheese is basically meat, and all the people that were vegetarian because they felt compassion for animals but ate tons of cheese were, in effect, totally stupid.

I also started learning about factory farming and how awful it is. One thing that really stuck in my mind was the concept of pigs being really smart. I have a great deal of admiration for animals, but I was especially confused by the situation of pigs. They’re supposed to be smarter than dogs, one of the smartest animals, and yet we treat them like total garbage. Kinda sad, y’all.

The big tipping point for me becoming vegan was the book Skinny Bitch in the Kitch or whatever it’s called. A friend had it in her kitchen (she got it for free from some editor friend). The presentation of the book is pretty dumb and is obviously aimed at chubby women with low self esteem, but a lot of what the book said was very straightforward and made sense to me: animal protein makes you fat, if you want to not be fat, do not eat animal protein. Period. So that was it.

LTEM: Do you still think that animal protein causes chubbiness? Or was it the inconvenience of procuring vegan food that caused you to lose weight?

Colin: Animal protein makes you fat, but there’s food made of vegetable matter that makes you fat too. The ironic part about me losing weight from veganism (I did lose a fair amount of weight) was that although I was physically more attractive, I was now incompatible with 99 percent of the female population. I would think about meeting a vegan girl, and how great that would be. I said that I would never date an omni girl, that they were disgusting.

Eventually I guess I got into the concept of dating a non-vegan person, but I always assumed that a mainstream woman would be really turned off by a man being vegetarian. There’s a stigma. I don’t know, the whole situation sucked.

Now I eat meat and I’m still single. Heh.

LTEM: Do you remember any other paradoxes or problems you had while being vegan?

Colin: Being vegan can be incredibly inconvenient from a social perspective. About a month after I started eating meat again, some omni friends invited me to Rockaway Beach. They were picking me up in their car and getting sandwiches en route. They always go to this stupid normal deli near their house and it would’ve been impossible for me to get something vegan (aside from plain bread). I just got whatever they got. I really enjoyed the ease of this situation and was kind of amazed by how less fun the whole beach trip would have been if I were vegan.

LTEM: How long did the veganism last?

Colin: Strict veganism for about 10 months. I have a businessy job and I even went and got some really shitty moo shoes and paid way more for them than I would have for leather.

LTEM: They are expensive, aren’t they? I think people go there and get ripped off just to say they got their shoes at a vegan shoe store, since there are much cheaper vegan shoes elsewhere. Did any of your businessy co-workers make fun of you for your veganism?

Colin: I was a vegetarian at the last bank I worked at. There was a fellow there who made light of it, but he made light of just about anything he could, so I wouldn’t say that this semi-playful hostility was directed at my dietary choices. I have a boss now who used to make fun of my veganism, but now that I am not vegan his jokes have generally veered into proclaiming that I am a homosexual. He is not a person that my office would consider funny. Relevant and humorous: “BEEF AT GAY INSULT: VEGETARIAN SUES.”

Just for the record, I am all for being made fun of, if it is funny.

LTEM: Were you a purity vegan, or would you make exceptions sometimes?

Colin: I totally hate with a pure passion any person who says they are “vegan but I eat eggs” or some idiot shit like that. Part of what I really appreciated about veganism was the lack of ambiguity. You either consume animal products or you do not consume animal products. I like that, I like the lack of a grey area. Although in reality it is pretty much not valid because maybe your shoes were made with iridescent and you don’t realize it or you think it’s not a big deal or it’s the one thing you’ll allow.

LTEM: How recently did you stop being vegan?

Colin: A couple months ago? Three months?

LTEM: What made you quit?

Colin: After about seven or eight months of being vegan I started getting this powerful inclination to view the website “thisiswhyyourefat.com”. It is all pictures of like a hot dog wrapped with bacon and then cooked with ground beef in a casserole that is topped with cheese. I couldn’t understand why but I had this serious compulsion to view the site while I was at work.

LTEM: Subconscious meat desires?

Colin: Probably, I don’t know. At some point one day I just decided to eat some meat. The plan was just to eat it once. I wanted to see what would happen: would I throw up? Would I feel energetic? During my veganism I was always very, very sleepy at work. I would put my head down on my desk and go to sleep. My friends couldn’t believe that I would do this, but I would literally put my head on my desk and go to sleep for about 30 minutes every day. I’m not attributing this to veganism though, it could’ve been my diet or some other shit. I do not really get sleepy these days.

LTEM: That’s depressing for me to hear about your inexplicable sleepiness, because that reminds me how much of that I dealt with. When I first became vegetarian (not vegan) I took a Russian History class at a community college, and even though the class was completely fascinating to me, I could never stay awake through it. I felt like an asshole, since it was obvious to everyone, and I also was annoyed for myself that I was missing so much of the class.

Colin: Richland Community College?

LTEM: Yep. Oh, I also remember an internship I had while I was vegan. Instead of taking a lunch break, every day I would eat lunch at my desk while I worked, and then I would sneak to the basement of the building for an hour to nap. Otherwise, I couldn’t function. But even then, I was still tired. Jesus, it’s all coming back to me now. As a vegetarian, I was in a play and got a reputation for sleeping whenever I wasn’t needed on stage. Like you, I don’t have this problem anymore.

Colin: I don’t really think there’s much to say in response aside from “YES.” I don’t know if not eating meat made me sleepy, and at this point I don’t care. Just a few minutes ago I felt sleepy and got some coffee. Not like that other sleepy though, the vegan sleepy. That was some narcolepsy shit. Like being unable to control my body, I-have-to-rest-now type shit.

LTEM: I have a vegan friend who is still like that. We were working on a video project together, and he would have to interrupt the shoot in the middle of the day to go home and take a nap. Anyway, what was the process of quitting veganism like for you?

Colin: I went out for lunch and instead of getting a salad or falafel I went to a street meat cart and got chicken and rice with white sauce and hot sauce. It was pretty gross, very greasy and it hurt my stomach (but not because I hadn’t eaten meat in a while). I felt pretty confused initially. Veganism was a big part of my self-identity at the time. Then I just said “fuck it” to myself and went about my biz.

LTEM: How did you break the news to your vegan friends? Were they upset?

Colin: Well, I only ever had two close vegan friends. It’s funny, I was volunteering at the non-profit one works at, and she ordered sub sandwiches for the volunteers to eat. I didn’t want her to know I wasn’t vegan so I would wait for her to go to the bathroom or answer a call and I would stuff my face with a slice of the sandwich.

Eventually I told her. I don’t think she really cared. We had a good laugh because I had been very judgmental of her once in the past when we were drinking after she told me that she was freegan and would be fine with consuming animal products. I had plenty of vegan acquaintances. Most of these people I just stopped talking to, a couple I still keep in touch with. The Supervegan.com people are great.

LTEM: I recently heard a vegan speak who said that even though some meat eaters were against factory farming, vegans were the only ones doing something about it. You obviously still care about animals, particularly the porkers, even though you eat meat now. Do you make an effort to eat free range meat, to not support factory farming? Are there some things you won’t eat?

Colin: I will eat anything, I really do not care any more. I couldn’t care less about ideals. Abstaining from eating animals changes nothing. I think that the world is a very stupid place filled with mostly worthless, foolish, proud people, and it is just not worth the effort.

LTEM: Do you at least have pangs of conscience when you eat meat now?

Colin: Never considered it once. The only ‘radical’ aspect of me left is my pure and unwavering hatred for any motor vehicle, pedestrian, or wrong-way bicycle in my bike lane. I feel a sublime and pure pleasure when I spit in someone’s face or smash off a side-view mirror that could never be matched by a foie gras protest.

LTEM: Is there anything you miss about being vegan?

Colin: Camaraderie. I think a big part of what I appreciated was in sharing the unique experience of being vegan with other vegans. It was kind of like choosing to be part of a marginalized group, dealing with oppression and idiocy. I always enjoyed telling jokes like “BUT WHERE DO YOU GET YOUR PROTEIN?”