Suicide Food is an entertaining look at restaurant ads and logos featuring animals who happily offer themselves up for human consumption. It’s nice to think animals like it when we kill and eat them, and these ads play to that guilt-free fantasy.
But Ben, the creator of Suicide Food, seems unaware of an even more ridiculous spin-off trend: depictions of vegetables who want us to eat them. As unlikely as it is for a pig to voluntarily cut off her belly and serve it to us with a smile, with the proper training that might at least be possible. (Pigs can learn to play video games, so why not butchery?) Vegetables are just too dumb and too selfish for that.
Yet cellulose dealers would have us believe that the rotting plant corpses on our plate have consented to being there. Vegetables, they cleverly imply, actually get off on our nibbling. In other words, who cares if plants feel pain and have an interest in living? They are Suicide Veggies!
Or to make it even simpler, eat the vegetables that drink your milk.
"You want to peel off my husk, boil me, poke metal prongs in my sides, chew up my kernels and throw my cob in the garbage? Aww, shucks!"
I would feel pretty damn majestic too if I were swimming in a pool of my own liquified remains. Wouldn’t you?
"Because if you don’t, we have to stay trapped in this overcrowded pod forever. You know… alive."
And I don’t think Potato Pete is referring to his cooking skills.
"A me a day keeps the doctor away, heh heh."
If you’re going to play that way, neither does sausage.
"Oh I’m just about to lose my life, honey honey yeah."
These sexy, beta carotene-rich roots are good for the eyes in more ways than one!
"Sometimes you feel like a nut and sometimes you don’t. Either way, please kill me."