My Face is on Fire’s Mylène Ouellet damns John Robbins to the animal advocacy leader “Hall of Fail” for commending small animal farms and singling out factory farms as the bad guys in a Huffington Post column.

As Ouellet explains, Robbins once wrote that there’s no such thing as a happy dairy cow. Now, apparently, Robbins has no objection to meat and dairy from small farms that treat their animals well and “try to bring a healthy product to market.” (It seems Robbins is still reluctant to admit that animal products could ever be healthy). Robbins even cites notorious omnivory advocate Michael Pollan in the comments: “In any event, we all need to eat, as Michael Pollan puts it, ‘mostly plants.’” Mostly… but not all?

If only Robbins had realized this sooner! Instead of renouncing the Baskin Robbins fortune and proclaiming that humans are natural herbivores, he could have turned his dad’s company into a small-farm-supporting organic ice cream behemoth, with pastured bacon bits alongside the sprinkles and peanut butter chips.